Ever since I graduated college in 2018, my life has been unfulfilling. I thought I would knew the path and the right steps to take, I thought my college degree was the map I needed to accomplish my dreams. And that was exactly what is was, a map defined by National Geographic states “present information about the world in a simple, visual way.” When I look at my degree it was then that I realized it was just that, a piece of paper declaring what I want from the world for the people around me, a Bachelor of Arts.
My diploma does not state what I studied specifically it only showcases 18 years worth of educational goal in three elementary words. The concept of school was bestowed on me by the adults in my life, telling me how much easier life will be after I earn a degree. Don’t get me wrong I still love to learn but life has not been easy and I would be even more shocked to discover how much “harder” it could have been and/or will be. I without knowing took a risk, something that I will never regret. Getting a degree in Cinema Screen Studies already tells you what kind of person I aspire to be but I have so much uncertainty. I am not sure if I would like to direct,edit, cast, or compose… my options vary. All I know is that I was made to be apart of this art form. And after a year and half of living in fear and being embarrassed of my writing, I promised myself not to carry over this fear into 2020. In this next decade I wish to accomplish many things that play along my interest.
Three things I want to Accomplish in the 2020's
- Start Journaling
I have always said that I want to journal, sometimes I feel like I am not processing my life as I continue to live without thinking about the very essence, I will forget that it is a blessing to exist. Taking the time to find gratitude and happiness in the little things in life has been weighing heavy on my mind. I realized for so many years of my life I have been taking my family for granted, only reaching out to selfishly lay my worries and anxieties on to them. My goal is to write a lot about the mundane little moments and spend time with the people I care about write about it. So I don’t forget about the people around me and the times we have shared.
2. Write from Experience
Recently, I’ve been feeling like my future career is escaping the grips of my hand like sand as time sweeps in like the wind blowing away my future. As I refuse to let it go even when there’s no time left. Knowing that what I have chosen to pursue in my professional life may not be where I end up, is unnerving. I get so afraid I am forcing something to be what it will never happen as another part of me is telling myself that I am building the blocks be who I was made to be. As far as I know now, I am an avid reader, film journalist, amtuear art enthusiat, and overall music lover, leading me to be confused to where my interest may lead me. Sharing my twenties with this millennium, will be an experience I will want to cherish. I want to experience more things and be smarter with the choices I make, as they will reflect my future.
3. Write Screenplay/Short Story
I have always wanted to write a full thought out story all my life, in college I never allowed myself to fully pour myself into my writing. I was always too daunted by the idea of people judging my stories so I always made sure to half ass my work to avoid being hurt by professors and classmates critics. I want to feel free to write the things I would never utter out loud. Retelling the tales of youth through human development is one of the many ways I want to tell stories that will enrich my culture and inspire a generation. To provide a sense of safety, escapism and emotion through my words and ideas would be the render of my existence.
Getting to understand the aspects of life I did not know before, has not been an easy adjustment but luckily I have so many people in my life that support my goals and aspirations. I am also happy to share my thoughts and ideas in such an open community of people who chose this form of writing to express themselves through different topics.
